We had a pretty good night last night, my mom invited us over for dinner and a hot tub.. hehe

Randy cooked a turkey noodle thing with left overs.. Yummy...

The kids had a BALL ran and played with Dalton.

We came home, and I realized that I had lots of broccoli... a food that makes Makayla puke her brains out because she gets really gassy. So, it was a VERY long night, although, Jeremy did get up with Caitilyn when she got up for her nightly daddy snuggle time.

I cut Makaylas nails this morning, which in turn resulted in me cutting her little finger, I have to say, I know this is very common, this is the first time I can remember ever cutting baby fingers... Yeah it bled all over.

Shes fine now, sleeping well, and I am going to go join the family for breakfast...

Well moving on from yesturday.. No, I am not in a better mood, I am still in a not good place emotionally, but I will be fine. I always am..

Today we are cleaning, when I was on bed rest during the last part of my pregnancy clutter happened again.. We had done so good at keeping clutter at bay till my pregnancy.

I am SO not good with clutter, I dont clean house very well, I dont know what too do with it all, or where to start..

Its such a double edged sword for me though, becuse the clutter/mess eats at me, and feeds my depression BIG TIME, which makes me not want to do anything... which only makes things worse.

I dont think my family really understands how out of it I feel when my house is like this.. I really want to throw it all away and start over.. But, Jeremy is such a packrat we cant throw anything remotely useful away, it might sell at a yard sale....

Anyway, enough about that, I dont want to whine about jeremy in here.. Its a place I should be able to whine about him at.. but will keep that crap to myself..

I am going to have the kids paint christmas ornaments today for gifts, they also have another special gift they are working on, but I cant post about that here.. :)

I am getting all my already purchased gifts rounded up, and makeing my list as to who I still need to buy for.

Alisa.. I need the kids clothes sizes!

Thats it for now, Makayla is finally sleeping.. I am going to head to the shower, then to the store, unless Caitilyn decides to keep napping..

Depressed...

So, my day kinda sucked...

I had a baby three weeks ago, EVERY weekend since she was born Jeremy has been gone, helping others with things they "need" okay, I know our family (with the exception of my mom really) is pissy because we had another kid, but ya know what? BACK OFF really... My husband cant tell anyone no. Except me that is..

I was brought home from the hospital, 3 weeks ago, by my brother in laws girlfriend.. Whom I had never met, dropped off, and left at home, with 4 kids alone.. just recovering from child birth.. ALONE.. I mean, Shanes girlfriend was great, she offered to stay and help ect..

But, the point is my HUSBAND who should have been at home, helping his family, meeting his daughter, and helping me recover from a major medical event was with his brother, helping with a meeting that he could have re schedualed, or missed all together!!!! He didnt HAVE to be there.. but chose someone else over me.. and our family.

This weekend again, he is going to go help his brother farm.... I dont get mommy time anymore, with 4 kids, I dont get any mommy time at all! Any free time is spent trying to make sure all the other kids get equal one on one time...

I am stressed, tired, and really lacking any me definition... yeah, maybe some PPD setting in, I dont know.. I do know that I have ALOT to do at home this weekend, I need to prep for christmas, wrap presents, take inventory of what I need to get and what I have, do my budget for payday, CLEAN, and eventually I need to move Gillians bed into Alexanders room..

Oh yeah, whats that I am supposed to take it easy to recover? That dont happen when you have 4 kids.. normally, husbands are around to help.. but mine doesnt like us anymore or something, because he is not one to hang around and help..

Growth Spurt

Makayla is 3 weeks old and full force in the middle of a growth spurt! Holy cow my boobies are so sore! Shes eatin every hour for like 3 hours, then sleeping for like 3 hours, then cluster feeding again! BLAH!

Nipples suck..

New blog...

I tend to post on my live journal about stress releivers ect, I want to focus this blog on only my kids..

So, I am Cristi, mommy to Gillian (6), Alex (3), Caitilyn (1) and now Makayla (3 weeks!)

I am a stay at home mom, I cloth diaper, breast feed, and co sleep (safely and only with the baby) Yeah.. I have become one of those crunchy mommas....

I really dont know how, we grew up in an anything but crunchy household. But, this is working for us! Gillian and Caitilyn have pretty significant asthma, so we have to be some what green with chemicals and such because of that. Alexander was diagnosed with Autism in Sept. of 07.. so my world is VERY busy!! LOL