So, my day kinda sucked...
I had a baby three weeks ago, EVERY weekend since she was born Jeremy has been gone, helping others with things they "need" okay, I know our family (with the exception of my mom really) is pissy because we had another kid, but ya know what? BACK OFF really... My husband cant tell anyone no. Except me that is..
I was brought home from the hospital, 3 weeks ago, by my brother in laws girlfriend.. Whom I had never met, dropped off, and left at home, with 4 kids alone.. just recovering from child birth.. ALONE.. I mean, Shanes girlfriend was great, she offered to stay and help ect..
But, the point is my HUSBAND who should have been at home, helping his family, meeting his daughter, and helping me recover from a major medical event was with his brother, helping with a meeting that he could have re schedualed, or missed all together!!!! He didnt HAVE to be there.. but chose someone else over me.. and our family.
This weekend again, he is going to go help his brother farm.... I dont get mommy time anymore, with 4 kids, I dont get any mommy time at all! Any free time is spent trying to make sure all the other kids get equal one on one time...
I am stressed, tired, and really lacking any me definition... yeah, maybe some PPD setting in, I dont know.. I do know that I have ALOT to do at home this weekend, I need to prep for christmas, wrap presents, take inventory of what I need to get and what I have, do my budget for payday, CLEAN, and eventually I need to move Gillians bed into Alexanders room..
Oh yeah, whats that I am supposed to take it easy to recover? That dont happen when you have 4 kids.. normally, husbands are around to help.. but mine doesnt like us anymore or something, because he is not one to hang around and help..
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My darling daughter. All your life you have given and given to everyone and everything that you touch. Now you are struggling with four fabulous children and a husband who is, sorry to say, like most husbands of his age. I wish I could give you the answers so you would not have to battle with the enormous changes happening in your life, however just like most other mothers you will have to adjust on your own. The only difference between you and them is their children are not lucky enough to have you as their mother. Try to remember when times get tough and stressful, that those beautiful little faces looking at you are the image of you. Not your husband, not your mother, not your father, but you. So when you look at them and feel the enormous overwhelming feeling of fear and completion, those faces will be looking at their own some day and thinking to themselves, "oh my god, I am my mother."
I love you and please believe I am blessed to have a daughter who has grown up to be the most awesome mother I have ever known.
MOM
As normal, there are 2 sides to every coin. First of all, there was in fact a meeting that came up... A mediation in front of a judge who had an opening come up with 1 day's notice. Yes, it could have been rescheduled but it would not have looked good. It was a mediation that closed a 9 year long legal battle (of which I became directly involved in after my dad passed away) and saved thousands in attorney fees by not actually needing to take it to trial. Yep, pretty selfish, I know. I made arrangements to make sure you got home with the kids safely, and help was available if wanted and it was turned down.
As for helping out on the farm, this is helping a little (1 day 2 weekends in a row is a very little) in order to work toward the family financial future. I'm helping salvage what little of a crop we can due to many circumstances over the fall. Weather is good to be able to do it, and the crop is worth less and less every day. It is not something that can be put off another month because I've already spent a day helping this month. The only difference between this and me spending a day working on a client's PC is I don't get a set paycheck within the next 2 weeks, I am working toward a potentially large series of paychecks sometime in the future. This has the potential the way plans are being made to financially set the family for life within a couple of years. Yes, last weekend when we got snowed out we decided to take half a day and go play since I had already planned to be away anyway. You took the next day and went out and played, no difference.
I'm not saying I'm perfect, I should help more than I do when I am home. I do help more than I used to and am working on getting better all the time. It is hard to stay motivated to help when I get home from work the next day and everything I did and then some was completely for nothing.
I don't want to rain on any parades, however I feel the need to respond to unnecessary half-truths that make me out to be a horrible person.
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